In My Head

Most of the artists I know are introverts. They are naturally reclusive and inside of their own head constantly. Most of my friends think of me as an extrovert because I am often loud and obnoxious. However, just because someone is loud, demonstrative and sometimes overbearing in public does not make them an extrovert.

One of the easiest ways that I’ve learned to detect if someone is an extrovert, introvert or a combination of the two is to test them. It is a one question test: Do you feel drained after being around people or are you energized. Or visaversa, essentially the same question: Do you feel drained or energized after spending time alone.

After all the personality tests I’ve taken these two variants of the same question nail it every time, at least for me. I am an introvert. I would rather be alone most of the time it energizes me, I need it. I like to create things and I am often inside of my head most of the time. When I get around people I become the “entertainer” and it is draining, I think for me in a good way. I really feel the need to perform either by teaching, playing music, running meetings, etc. Then after being so outward and in your face I shut down and I am inside myself.

This can have a detrimental effect on ones family if not tempered. I can find myself rarely telling my wife or in some cases my kids what is going on in my head. Because after I have my conversation with myself I am…well…finished. Now the very people I love most in life are in the dark about me.


A walk along the beach.

A walk along the beach.

Things that I need to make sure I am doing is communicating…..no really communicating with my family about who I am and they need to do the same. All of us in this family of ours are introverts and on some days hardly a word may be spoken between us as we, read, ponder, play music, clean, etc. It is kind of strange but the older I get and the older my kids get the more it is smacking me in the face. Time is short…share. Share your passion, your love, your gifts, your talents, your food and drink, share a story, a hug, a kiss. Share love.

So you may not be an introvert. I get that. On the other hand how disconnected are you from the people around you? You may not even realize it.

The more people I see with smart phones the dumber they seem to get. I am at a coffee shop with my wife last night for a date. I glance over to see a couple sitting next to us an attractive young girl and what seems to be her boyfriend or lover. She’s on her smart phone and he’s just starring at her. Not that, “oh you’re so cute and beautiful stare” it was the, “Hey shit head get off your phone I am right here beside you.”

You may even be reading this on a “smart phone” in front of your loved one. You are lost in some vortex on a tiny screen and life is passing you by. Though many of the youth today may have been born with an iPhone in their hand it doesn’t make it right.

I am not sure there will ever be anyone on their death bed saying, I wish I had more time to look at my facebook or twitter posts…or whatever the next fad social network thing is.

Sorry about the rabbit trail…someone needed that.

Technology is great, don’t get me wrong. I love it…..though at this point I still don’t want a smart phone as cool as they are. I know that I would neglect my family and friends more than I do with just my mind.

I still need my alone time, there is no question about it and in some strange way you probably need that next “post”. Though 15 years ago no one did. The point is…there is a balance…and we have to find it.

Unplug from your phone or your mind and engage the living…share life.

Author: Brent Wisdom

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